


Homestuck: Girls' Poker Night

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Nudity, POV Female Character, POV Second Person, Sexual Content, Strip Games, Strip Poker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-09-11
Packaged: 2017-12-20 19:37:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A basic and unfinished all-girl strip poker fic, inspired by Strip Pokerstuck: Double Down. The girls get together for strip poker and that's basically it. Nothing fancier than that. When I started writing this, I wasn't that much into Homestuck. Therefore, in early chapters, some characters might act a little different than you expect them to. Also, there are a few references to trolls having human genitalia... Just ignore it. It's being retconned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pre-game

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Strip Pokerstuck: Double Down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/384300) by [SideAnon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SideAnon/pseuds/SideAnon), [undeadclown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/undeadclown/pseuds/undeadclown). 



> This fic may contain awful writing in addition to sexual content. You have been warned ;)

You are now ROSE LALONDE. Just in case you were anyone else before. The guys declared “Guy Night”, which probably means comparing sizes and talking about hot chicks. You guess. You don’t know much about Guy Night. In response, your drunk DaughterMom declared Girl Night. So far Girl Night has consisted of sitting on the floor and doing ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING.

Suddenly, you discover your trusty DECK OF CARDS in your SYLLADEX. You never know when you might be bored and need a deck of cards. You expel it out of your Sylladex and it goes flying across the room, winding up scattered all over the floor.

“Anyone up for playing cards... Once we pick them up from the floor?” you suggest eagerly.

“What about strip poker?” DaughterMom Roxy suggests.

“I’m with Roxy!

You turn to see where the voice is coming from. Surprise! It’s VRISKA SERKET of all people. You had no idea she was into strip poker. Come to think of it, she is kinda hot. Maybe she wants to show off herself? You realize your thoughts are kinda weird and decide to reluctantly agree. JADE HARLEY uses her Witch of Space powers to pick up all the cards and shuffle them into order. She hands them to Roxy. 

“Okay, normal Texas Hold’Em rules apply, only that you bet your clothes. We should team up so that it doesn’t get too disorganized. I will randomize teams, and if you have to take off clothes, you will have to take off your partners and they’ll have to take off yours. Got it?”

Everybody nods in agreement. Even you. This could be fun. Provided you get paired up with someone that’s hot. Woah, you’re getting lesbian thoughts already. This is going to be interesting. After a great deal of putting names in hats and shuffling them around, these teams are picked:

**Team 1: Terezi + Jade  
Team 2: Roxy + Kanaya  
Team 3: You + Nepeta  
Team 4: Vriska + Feferi  
Team 5: Jane + Aradia**

Nepeta, huh? She is kinda cute when you think about it. You could be worse off. Speaking of Nepeta, where is she? You suddenly get an answer to that question. She leaps right up in your lap and begins purring. You and Nepeta sit down on the floor and wait for Terezi and Jade to start dealing. This is going to be interesting...


	2. Hand 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The game begins!

Terezi picks up the deck and starts shuffling it. You hope for good cards. You do NOT want to lose your clothes the first thing you do. Suddenly, you see as Jade sits up and whispers something into Terezi’s ear. Clearly Terezi must have been upset by it, as she slaps Jade lightly afterwards.

“I didn’t mean it like that! What I said was that you had forgotten the blinds, not an insult to your blindness”, Jade claims.

“What are the blinds then?” Terezi asks.

“I’ll explain. They’re some bets, in this case clothes, that are placed into the pot before the game begins. We’ll put up the small blind (not an insult) first. I’ll place my shoe into the pot”, Roxy says.

Kanaya takes off Roxy’s left shoe and places it in the middle of the circle you’re sitting in. You honestly have no clue what to do. You’ve never been big on playing poker. That’s when you notice Nepeta leaning over to you. She whispers into your ear.

“Now we purrt in two articles of clothing”, she whispers. 

“A shoe each?” you ask.

Nepeta nods towards you and stretches out her leg. You take off her right shoe and you place it in front of you. Then you stretch out your leg towards her. But first, you make a quick clothes-count in your head.

You’re wearing:

**A pair of sneakers  
A pair of socks  
A skirt  
A t-shirt  
A hairband  
A bra  
A pair of panties**

This game is probably going to last for a while. Hopefully you’ll win a few hands and not lose your clothes right away. Nepeta begins unlacing your left shoe, but she just can’t seem to get it right.

“This is impawsible!” she complains.

You unlace it yourself and she yanks it off. She pops a little smile and begins tickling your stretched-out foot. You yank it back and place your shoes in the pot.

Now, Terezi begins handing out cards. First to herself and Jade, then Roxy and Kanaya, then you and Nepeta and so on. You look at the cards. You have:

**2(D), 2(H)**

This is quite good! A pair already! You try to conceal your happiness, but you guess Nepeta’s big smile is giving you away. Vriska and Feferi look kinda happy as well, and so do Jane and Aradia. 

Now, the betting begins. Terezi and Jade begin with betting their right shoes. Roxy takes off Kanaya’s left shoe and throws it on the pile. You’ve already made your bet. Vriska and Feferi bet their left shoes as well. Finally, Jane and Aradia bet their right shoes.

There’s a whole pile of shoes in the middle of the circle. Hopefully you’ll be able to clear it up after the game. Terezi places three cards in the middle. They are:

**Q(C), 2(C), H(C)**

You have three of a kind! This is very satisfying! You whisper “Raise?” into Nepeta’s ear. She nods in agreement. Terezi and Jade decide to check. So do Roxy and Kanaya. Now it’s your turn. 

“I raise my right sock!” you exclaim.

You let Nepeta take off your white right sock. It tickles a little bit. Maybe you can get Nepeta to give you a foot massage or something later. That’d be nice. You see Feferi taking Vriska’s left sock off. It is striped with two shades of blue.

“It’s _on_ ”, Vriska says.

“Your sock’s _off_ ”, Roxy remarks.

“We fold”, Jane says. She and Aradia place their cards face-down in front of them. Terezi throws up the fourth card. It’s the **Three of Hearts.** Terezi and Jade whisper a little and then decide to fold. 

Nothing in the world would prepare you for what happens next. You see Kanaya move her hand up Roxy’s left leg, under her skirt. She pulls off her stocking and throws it on the pile. Seeing that would have been incredibly hot if it wasn’t your mom. Or your daughter. In any case, it’s disturbing. You decide to check and move along. Vriska and Feferi give each other a quick look and then fold their cards. Fifth and final card. You hope you’ll win...

**A(S)**

Roxy and Kanaya show their cards:

**3(D), A(D)**

“Two pairs, threes and aces”, Kanaya says.

You show off yours.

“Three of a kind, twos”, you reply.   
Roxy and Kanaya look disappointed. You grab all the clothes and carry them back to Nepeta. You both put your clothes back on.

**You are now wearing:  
Everything you had before**

**In addition, you and Nepeta have:  
Terezi and Jade's right shoes  
Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes + Roxy’s left stocking  
Vriska and Feferi's left shoes + Vriska’s left sock  
Jade and Aradia's right shoes**

 

"Looks like there's someone who likes shoes more than you do, Kanaya", Roxy remarks as Terezi passes her the deck of cards. 

You notice that Kanaya has her head in Roxy’s lap. It looks incredibly cozy. You wish Nepeta would do that with you. However, you don't have time to think about that. The next hand is coming, and you want to win more clothes. You hand Roxy your cards and wait to see what happens...


	3. Hand 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I don't hate this fic, I'm not very proud of making Roxy into somewhat of a bitch in the early chapters. Back then, I didn't understand the characters as well as I do today.

It’s your turn to put up the small blind. You grab Vriska’s left sock and throw it into the pile. 

“Wow, do Vriska’s feet smell like carp or something?” Feferi quips. 

You can sense Vriska’s ice cold glare even from where you’re sitting. You’re not sure if this is because she doesn’t like being made fun of for smelly feet or for that lame fish pun. Maybe both. 

Betting someone else's clothes is a good thing. You don’t want to show too much of yourself yet. Taking of Nepeta's clothes on the other hand... 

Vriska stretches her leg out towards Feferi, who quickly takes her right shoe off. Then the roles are reversed. 

Now Roxy deals the cards. You end up with: 

**6(S) 3(C)**

Hmm, it’s not very good. But you suppose that you could get something anyways, and since you’ve already made the small blind, it’d be a shame to let it go to waste. You decide to throw in Roxy’s left stocking for good measure. You don’t want your DaughterMom’s stocking among your clothes. 

Vriska and Feferi decide to go along as well. They've already made their bet as the big blind. Jane, Aradia, Terezi and Jade all bet their left shoes. Roxy and Kanaya bet their right. You watch in excitement as Roxy throws up three cards. Not literally of course. That'd be disgusting. 

**3(S) 5(S) 5(C)**

Wow, two pairs! This seems promising! Rose and Kanaya check. You decide to discuss whether to raise or not with Nepeta. 

“Two pairs are pretty good”, you say. 

“It’s not worth a raise”, Nepeta says. 

You are about to begin arguing against her when you see her making puppy eyes. Or kitty eyes. What the hell, she just does the cute eye thing. She’s just too cute to argue with. You decide to go along and check for this round. In fact, everyone does! Card four comes up: 

**5 (H)**

You can literally feel the excitement rising inside you in a mostly non-sexual way. You have a full house! Now it’s totally time to raise! Even Nepeta’s cute eyes thing can’t stop you. Speaking of Nepeta, she’s put her legs in your laps and is lying down on the floor. You’re sensing that this is going to go well for the two of you. And you’re not just thinking of the game. 

“Earth, Derse, Prospit, Alternia, Skaia, or wherever the hell we are right now to Mom!” you hear Roxy yelling. 

Suddenly, you realize that it’s your turn to act, but you’ve been thinking too much about Nepeta to notice. Whoops. 

“We raise Jade’s right shoe!” you exclaim. 

Nepeta grabs it from your pile of clothes and throws it into the pot. She then moves slightly closer to you. Maybe she wants to cuddle? You don’t have time to lose attention again though. After this hand! 

Team Vriska + Feferi and Team Jane + Aradia all decide to fold. Oh yeah. You’re totally going to win this. That is when you see Jade taking off Terezi’s left sock. Whatever they have, you hope it isn’t better than yours. They put it in the pile. Final card. Make it count! 

**10 (S)**

Roxy and Kanaya begin the round by folding. Not that it’s worth much during the final round of the hand. Triumphantly, you show your full house of threes and fives. Suddenly, all your excitement drops to the lowest position on the echeladder. Terezi’s smile can’t be good. It just looks plain scary. Slowly, she turns over their cards. Full house... Queens and fives. Yep, higher than yours! You feel the anger build up inside. So bloody close! You see as they rake in Roxy’s left stocking and right shoe, Kanaya, Vriska and Feferi’s right shoes, Jane, Aradia, Terezi and Jade’s left, Vriska’s left sock, Jade’s right shoe and Terezi’s left shoe. Yep, a whole lot of clothes. Luckily, you still have some. 

Let’s see: 

**Your normal clothes plus the following:**

**Terezi’s right shoe**

**Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes**

**Vriska and Feferi's left shoes**

**Jade and Aradia's right shoes**

A whole lot of shoes, it would seem. Soon, more exciting articles of clothing will come off. You realize that it’s your turn to deal. Alrighty, this could be interesting. But first, you decide that cuddling with Nepeta has higher priority. You put your arm around her as Roxy passes you the deck of cards. Hopefully, they’ll be on your side this time. 


	4. Hand 3

Alright, it’s your turn to deal! This is feeling great. You begin shuffling the deck. A thought begins forming in your head. You have a desperate need to make a bad joke... 

“Every day I’m shuf-” you begin, but you’re interrupted by Jade using her Witch of Space powers to scatter the cards all over the floor. The trolls just stare, not knowing what the hell you did to deserve that. 

“No”, Jade says. 

“I promise not to do that again”, you say. 

Jade seems satisfied with that answer. You prepare to pick up the cards. As you learn forward, you can feel something underneath your skirt touching your ass. It has to be Nepeta’s hand. The fact that you can hear her giggling confirms this. Normally, if someone grabbed your ass like this, you’d slap them in the face. However, with Nepeta, the situation’s different. You decide to let the cards stay on the floor for a while. 

“Leave my ass alone”, you say in a flirty tone as you leap towards Nepeta and begin to tickle her. Oh man, this is fun! You had no idea the evening would turn out to be this good. 

“The cards?” Vriska sounds more irritated than she normally does. What a total bitch. Does she have no sense of fun? Jade has used her powers to pick the deck up for you. You shuffle it again and begin handing out the cards. Two cards for you, two cards for Vriska and Feferi, two cards for Jane and Aradia... Alright, two cards for everyone! Yours are: 

**8(D) J(D)**

It is not great, but you suppose it’ll get you somewhere. This time, Vriska and Feferi put up the small blind. It’s Vriska’s right sock. Feferi seems to have no trouble getting it off her foot. If you were Feferi, you’d try to get Vriska to cheer up. But you’re not. 

The big blind is contributed by Jane and Aradia. They’re both trying to get the other’s left sock off at the same time. It looks hilarious. You and Nepeta should totally try it out some time later. Terezi and Jade throw in one of Vriska’s socks and one of Feferi’s. Yet again, you can see Kanaya’s hand making its way up under Roxy’s skirt to remove her right stocking. Pretty sexy, but it is still your daughter. Roxy then takes off Kanaya’s right sock. These guys just have to have dated or something. There’s no way someone can be that casual about putting their hand under someone’s skirt. No way at all. Ah, right, it’s your turn to bet. Nepeta picks up Terezi’s right shoe and Roxy’s left with her mouth and carries it into the middle like a cat on all fours. You decide a little revenge might be in order and give her a quick slap on the ass. She drops the shoes and gives you a flirtatious wink as Vriska takes off Feferi’s left sock. Time for the flop. Not flop as in failure, but as in the first three cards in the middle. 

**8(H) 10(H) 7(H)**

Hmm, a lot of hearts. Did you shuffle the deck correctly? Still, you have a pair, and that’s not too bad. You decide to just check and go along. Vriska and Feferi look kinda disappointed. They throw down their cards to show that they’re folding. You notice something. They’re both barefoot, making them the first officially barefoot team. You’re still waiting for the first officially bare-assed team though. Everyone else goes along with checking, and it’s time for the fourth card. You wish for luck... 

**J(H)**

Are you the Goddess of Luck or something? You’ve got two pairs now! It’s time for a raise. You pick up Roxy’s left shoe from your pile of won clothes and you throw it into the pot. Jane + Aradia and Terezi + Jade instantly fold. Roxy takes off Kanaya’s left sock, and it goes straight to the pile. You can’t help but wonder what they have. Fifth card... 

**Q(D)**

You show off your two-paired hand, hoping that Roxy and Kanaya won’t have something better. They have: 

**6(S) 3(C)**

**  
** This gives them a hand of... Absolutely fucking nothing. You wonder what the hell they were thinking. Of course, Vriska just has to ask that in her most sarcastic and bitchy voice. 

“Please... You folded the first round”, Roxy says. 

If glares could kill, Vriska would have killed the whole room several times over now. Still, you win some clothes! 

You now have: 

**Your ordinary clothes plus the following:**

**Terezi’s right shoe**

**Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes**

**Vriska and Feferi's left shoes**

**Jade and Aradia's right shoes**

**Vriska and Feferi’s socks**

**Jane + Aradia’s left socks**

**Roxy’s right stocking, Kanaya’s socks.**

You pass the deck on to Vriska, hoping she’s better at dealing cards than being nice. You lean back towards Nepeta and think of what has happened tonight. You guess you are ass buddies now? Also, you might have flashed your ass for the entire room to see when you bent over, but you don’t care. Your ass is awesome, and everyone should see it. 


	5. Hand 4

You begin to wonder if Vriska’s as good with cards as she is with dice. Guess Yatzhee would be right up her alley. At least, she seems to be good at shuffling cards. Maybe she’s good at dancing the shuffle as well, provided trolls know of that dance? Honestly, you don’t know much about dancing in general. This time, your team is the last one to get any cards. Nepeta picks them up to show you. 

**5(H) K(C)**

Vriska’s not good with cards. Or maybe she’s good at shuffling them so that she gets the best ones? You decide to go along with that theory. You might simply have bad luck as well, but that’s not as fun. It is betting time, and you take a quick look around to see what is getting bet. Seeing Jane taking of Aradia’s right sock isn’t as fun as it was at the start of the game. You’ve grown tired of socks by now. Next is Vriska and Feferi’s right shoes as the big blind from Terezi and Jade. Not very interesting either. Then interesting rises to God Tier levels. Roxy unbuttons Kanaya’s skirt, or whatever the hell she calls that thing covering her legs. You can see her underwear from here. It’s a pair of red shorts. Then, things get even sexier! Kanaya yanks off Roxy’s skirt, exposing her bare legs. And her black thong. One thought echoes through your head: 

“DaughterMom, what the _hell_ are you wearing?” 

It looks incredibly sexy. You keep thinking that it’s your DaughterMom, but you just can’t shake the thought of its sexiness… Then, the inevitable happens. You sense a wet spot forming in your underwear. _OH GOD NO!_

Nepeta puts her hand on your skirt and winks. You move her hand away and give her Kanaya’s shoes. She looks kinda disappointed. You understand why, but you really don’t want to show off your underwear just yet. You decide to just bet Kanaya’s shoes instead. 

Thankfully, Vriska and Feferi lower the sexiness levels a bit. Feferi just takes off Vriska’s jacket. You like that jacket. It’s cool. Vriska responds by taking off Feferi’s tiara. Nothing sexy about that. Good. 

Finally, Aradia takes off Jane’s right sock and throws it on the pile. The now jacket-less Vriska takes the top three cards of the deck and puts them in the middle of the circle. 

**8 (C) 3(H) J(C)**

Still not very good. You basically don’t have anything. Maybe Vriska is a card master who manipulates them to her own choosing? Everyone checks. You wonder why. Does nobody have anything good or bad? Next card: 

**5(D)**

Well, you have a pair now. That’s good. Your theory that Vriska is a card master falls flat when you see her folding. For some reason, everyone else just checks again. This round hasn’t been that good when it comes to cards. Speaking of sexiness, this round has been the best so far! Last card… 

**6 (H)**

Yep, still just a pair. It seems like you’re going to lose this round. Jane and Aradia begin by showing off their cards. 

**10 (H) 7(H)**

They don’t have anything, but you understand why they kept going. Had they only had a nine, they would have got a straight. Next is Terezi and Jade: 

**Q (D) J (H)**

They have a pair of jacks. Yep, your pair of fives is totally and completely beat. What a shame. Roxy and Kanaya (aka Team Sexy) have a pair of fives as well. You watch on in resignation as Jade brings back all the clothes to Terezi. They’ve won two out of four hands now, and you have won the other two. You feel it’s someone else’s turn to win next time. Maybe Jane and Aradia can deal better cards. Suddenly, you overhear Roxy and Kanaya talking. 

“I’m cold”, Roxy says. 

Kanaya solves the cold problem by placing herself in Roxy’s lap. You’re not feeling the slightest cold in any way. Damnit, you want physical contact with Nepeta so bad! It seems she can read your thoughts. She lies down in your lap like Jasper would do with you when he was still alive. You’re not in your underwear, but hey, it’s a start! You pet Nepeta and she begins purring. As you wait for the next hand to start, you take a quick look at your clothes pile: 

  * **Terezi’s right shoe**
  * **Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes**
  * **Vriska and Feferi's left shoes**
  * **Jane and Aradia's right shoes**
  * **Vriska and Feferi’s socks**
  * **Jane + Aradia’s left socks**
  * **Roxy’s right stocking**
  * **Kanaya’s socks.**



You suppose this will last you for a while. You might even win this! It seems the other girls are giving you and Nepeta strange looks, but you don’t care. This is awesome. Maybe Nepeta could be a substitute for a real pet after this game. Still, you need to focus on what’s going on so that you won’t have to strip off all your clothes. Actually, that could be fun. You honestly have no idea if you want to win or lose… 


	6. Hand 5

You have Nepeta in your lap, a huge pile of clothes next to you and you’re here with all your friends. Life feels pretty damn awesome. Aradia shuffles the cards with great skill. At least it looks like that. Nervously, you await your cards: 

**2(D) K(S)**

Huh, it’s okay, you guess. There’s always the possibility of something good, and since you’ve won a lot, losing a little won’t hurt too much. The small blind this time is Vriska’s jacket, donated by Terezi and Jade. The big blind is contributed by Team Sexy. 

“Stretch your arms up”, Roxy says. 

Kanaya obliges and Roxy slowly pulls her shirt off. Kanaya is wearing a dark green bra, which does a pretty good job of covering up her relatively small breasts. Somehow, you like it, but it’s no big turn-on. What follows next, however… Kanaya pulls Roxy’s shirt off, and _HOLY SHIT!_ You’re not sure if they’re that way naturally or if her black lacy bra is too small, but those breasts are HUGE! You can’t move your eyes from them. Then, you feel something really wet in your lower regions. What is happening to you? 

“You like what you see, mom?” Roxy asks. 

It feels terribly embarrassing, and you can feel that you’re blushing. 

“Uh, nevermind, I’m so sorry”, you mumble. 

Wow, that was an awful experience. You promise yourself not to stare any more. Just a quick peek… THE CARDS! THE CARDS! LOOK AT THE BLOODY CARDS! 

You manage to get yourself in order just in time to throw Kanaya’s socks on the pile. You then move on to see Vriska and Feferi taking off each other’s glasses. That has to be the unsexiest thing ever. Aradia takes off Jane’s glasses. What’s the big deal about glasses? It’s like they hear your thoughts. Jane begins to unbutton Aradia’s (very long) skirt, but is interrupted by a quick “Oh, just rip it off!” Jane does so, exposing Aradia’s red bikini-style panties to the whole room. They look good on her. Terezi and Jade finish off the starting pot by throwing Feferi’s tiara in it. 

“Hey, watch it!” Feferi says in an annoyed tone. 

“Sorry” Terezi remarks in a voice that sounds anything but sorry. 

Alrighty, time for some wibbly-wobbly, flippy-floppy stuff. In other words, the flop: 

**2(H) A(S) 6(H)**

Oooh, a pair! At least that’s something. You decide to go along and check. So does everybody else, yet again. Time for the next card… 

**Q(S)**

Hmm, nothing special. Still just a pair. Roxy + Kanaya and Vriska + Feferi all fold. Huh, you guess this isn’t very lucky for Roxy and Kanaya. They’re down to just their underwear and ~~sexy as fuck~~ nearly out of the game. It’s going better on your part though. You still think it’d be fun to take off some clothes. Why do you have to be so damn lucky all the time? Final card: 

**K (C)**

Alright, two pairs! Jane and Aradia begin by showing their hand of nothing at all. You guess they were aiming for something high and were really close. Terezi and Jade show their pair of twos. Finally, you show off your pairs of kings and twos. You win! Again. You like winning, but this is strip poker, and you haven’t stripped much at all! Maybe it will all change later on. Nepeta brings back all the clothes, bringing your clothes pile to: 

  * **Terezi’s right shoe**
  * **Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes**
  * **Vriska and Feferi's left shoes**
  * **Jane and Aradia's right shoes**
  * **Vriska and Feferi’s socks**
  * **Jane and Aradia’s left socks**
  * **Roxy’s right stocking**
  * **Kanaya’s socks.**
  * **Vriska’s jacket**
  * **Feferi’s tiara**
  * **Roxy and Kanaya’s shirts**
  * **Vriska and Feferi’s glasses**
  * **Jane’s glasses**
  * **Aradia’s skirt**



This is quite a big pile of clothes. You wish you’d lose some of it, because you really want to actually strip when playing strip poker. That’s when you make yourself a promise: You’re getting naked tonight, no matter what happens! 


	7. Hand 6

The cards have come full circle and it is time for Terezi and Jade to deal again. Jade makes the cards shuffle themselves using her Witch of Space powers. God, she’s such a show-off! You have some powers as well, but you don’t always go showing them off to people like that. Still, you should let Jade do as she wishes. The most important thing here is the cards. And you’re hoping for good ones. 

**J(D) Q(C)**

Huh, these are pretty good! But you’ll have to wait and see the other cards first. These cards might turn out to be awesome. Or terrible. Regardless, it is betting time. This time, the small blind is from Team Sexy and the big blind is from you. You don’t want to miss this. Roxy turns around to have her back face Kanaya. You catch yourself staring at her ass. Woops, you hope nobody noticed. A faint click is heard as Kanaya lets Roxy’s bra slide off. She tries hiding her big breasts with her hands, but eventually has to put them down to pick up the cards. Wow, those are huge, and you can see every little detail of them! Even down to her flesh-colored nipples. You begin to wonder if her username TG actually stands for “TittyGoddess” or something. Regardless, it is your turn to contribute. 

You put up Vriska and Feferi’s glasses. Carefully. You don’t want to break them, because not only do they need them, but an angry Vriska is some fucked-up shit. Speaking of Vriska, Feferi is struggling to get her pants off. It looks very funny. Finally, they come off, revealing that Vriska is wearing a dark blue thong. You’re not surprised. She’s always been pretty sexy and is probably aware of that. Vriska then yanks off Feferi’s weird skirt-thingy with one quick movement. You’re not surprised to see she’s wearing a purple bikini, considering she spends a lot of time under water. 

The next thing you see is Aradia getting off Jane’s skirt. She’s wearing a pair of simple light blue panties. Then, Aradia’s shirt goes off. Her dark red bra does a pretty good job of hiding her moderately large breasts. Terezi and Jade then throw in Roxy and Kanaya’s skirts as their bet. Finally, the sexiness returns as Roxy takes off Kanaya’s bra. Her breasts are pretty small, and it’s hard not to stare while they are glowing. Now Jade puts up the top three cards from the deck… 

**6(C) 8(H) 6(D)**

Wow, you have a pair! Except… so does everyone else. You just check and go along when it’s your turn. When it’s Jane and Aradia’s turn, however, things change. Jane stretches her arms up and Aradia takes her shirt off. She is wearing a light blue bra. You try not to stare too much, but you notice that her breasts are small. Fourth card… 

**5 (D)**

Terezi and Jade decide not to go along with the raise and put their cards down. Roxy and Kanaya have different plans in mind. Kanaya grabs on to Roxy’s thong and rips it off. Roxy is now sitting completely naked for everyone to see, and it feels like everyone is staring at her. She blushes as she tries to cover up her private parts with her hands and enters the fetal position. Your panties are soaking wet by now. You hope you’re not the only one. Still, you have nothing special. 

“Is it okay if we fold?” you ask Nepeta. 

“Sure!” she exclaims happily. 

You put the cards down and decide to just sit back and watch. Vriska and Feferi fold as well, but Jane and Aradia just go along as the fifth card goes up. 

**J(C)**

If you hadn’t folded, you might have had a chance at winning with two pairs. But that’s in the past. Shit happens. Roxy and Kanaya begin by showing their cards. 

**Q(H) 8(D)**

This gives them a hand of two pairs, eights and sixes. That’s quite good! Jane and Aradia show off theirs: 

**4(S) 4(D)**

Two pairs, fours and sixes. You’re filled with rage as you realize you would have won if you had not folded! 

“I’m sorry”, you tell Nepeta. 

“It’s okay”, she says in a disappointed tone. 

“Guess we’re not going to be out yet. Oh, and Mom? Didn’t I teach you it’s rude to stare?” Roxy says in a pretty obnoxious way. 

You’re so incredibly angry right now. How does the one who suggested strip poker, a game that involves nudity and also dresses in clothes that get people to stare tell you not to do so? The fact that she’s nearly constantly drunk (You can even see her hiding a vodka bottle behind her back) and then tells you how to live your life makes her even more of a hypocrite. You’re about to give her a well-deserved reply when Nepeta gives you a hug. As she does this, you feel the anger going away. It’s just impossible to have bad emotions when something like this is done. The two of you begin cuddling a bit as you calm down even more. 

“Sorry”, you say, trying to sound as polite as possible. 

You didn’t win this round, but it was a bit of fun. And fun’s what matters, right? Your clothes pile has sunk a little bit as well, as you now have: 

  * **Terezi’s right shoe**
  * **Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes**
  * **Vriska and Feferi's left shoes**
  * **Jane and Aradia's right shoes**
  * **Vriska and Feferi’s socks**
  * **Jane and Aradia’s left socks**
  * **Roxy’s right stocking**
  * **Kanaya’s socks.**
  * **Vriska’s jacket**
  * **Feferi’s tiara**
  * **Roxy and Kanaya’s shirts**
  * **Jane’s glasses**
  * **Aradia’s skirt**



Then again, Jane and Aradia are down to just their underwear with no extra clothes to bet. You have a feeling they might be out soon. Nepeta moves closer to you as the naked and sexy Roxy takes the cards from Jade’s hand. Soon, you feel this is going to get more exciting, sexy and fun. 


	8. Hand 7

If someone said sexy things can’t be fun, that person has never played strip poker. You’ve got Roxy completely naked, Kanaya in just her panties, Jane + Aradia in their underwear and other people in various states of undress. The still naked and sexy as fuck Roxy gives you your cards. 

**10(S) 10(D)**

Alright! A pair! This round is going to be good, and you wonder if you might win this one as well. It’d be pretty funny to end the game with all the other clothes in your pile. Still, you’re not sure if this will happen. Oh, right. It’s your turn to put up the small blind. You grab Jane’s glasses and carefully place them in the pot. Next is the big blind by Vriska and Feferi. They seem so synchronized when pulling off each other’s shirts at the same time. Feferi has pretty small breasts covered by a purple bikini and Vriska’s are pretty large. Not like Roxy’s, but still big. She wears a dark blue bra, just like everything else dark blue she wears. She must really like dark blue, like you like pink and white. 

Next up is Jane and Aradia, Team Underwear. Actually, that term might not be completely accurate considering that Vriska and Feferi are in their underwear as well. Regardless, it is incredibly sexy to see Aradia take Jane’s bra off. Her face turns red, just like her nipples. Oh, woops, you’re staring again! Jane returns the favor, then covers up her small breasts with her hand. Aradia doesn’t care too much, leans back and lets you enjoy the view. Woo! 

You begin to wonder if your lower regions are leaking or something, because you’re getting wet again. This seriously has to stop! The sexy does stop, at least for now. Terezi and Jade just throw in Jane and Aradia’s right socks, Roxy and Kanaya also do the same, but with their shirts. You and Nepeta need to put in one more article. You grab Terezi’s right shoe and throw it on the pile. Now it is time for the flop. 

**7(H) 7(C) 5(D)**

This is going incredibly well! You now have two pairs. That’s always good. In fact, when it is your turn, you might consider a raise. Roxy and Kanaya begin by folding. Oh, this is good! Raise time! 

“I think we can win this”, you whisper to Nepeta. 

“Me too”, she replies. 

“We raise” you say and throw in Roxy and Kanaya’s shirts. 

Vriska and Feferi also fold. You guess Jane and Aradia will do so as well. After all, they only have their panties left. What happens next will forever surprise you. 

“Call”, Aradia says. 

You’re shocked. They’re down to just their panties. What else could they bet? Oh, _right._ Hell yes. Aradia stands up and turns around to face Jane. What she doesn’t count on is that when Jane yanks her panties off, she flashes her ass and the whole room sees it. Upon realizing this, she quickly turns around, showing her genitalia to everybody. She shrieks and sits down on the floor trying to cover herself up. She then pulls Jane’s panties off without a word. Jane manages to show nearly nothing of herself, at least in comparison to Aradia. Terezi and Jade just fold. Fourth card. 

**2 (D)**

Nothing new, check. Apparently, Team Naked thinks the same. Last card… 

**A (D)**

You turn over your cards with great confidence, showing off your two pairs. 

“That’s cute”, Aradia says. You’re worried. 

“She’s talking about you”, Nepeta whispers in your ear. 

“Oh, stop it! She’s talking about _you_!” you reply. It sounds pretty silly, but after all, some silliness might be just what you need. 

“I’m not talking about either of you. Look at _this!_ ” Aradia says. 

That can’t be good. The smug expression on her face makes it worse. You gaze in horror upon the cards… 

**5(S) 5(C)**

This gives them a full house of fives and sevens. You can feel the rage growing inside you, not only because you lost, but because this deck of cards must be jinxed! This is the second time someone has been close to losing all their clothes and then winning the hand! It’s so frustrating! There’s only one thing to do when frustrated. 

“Jade? Teleport the fridge to this room”, you ask. 

Jade raises her hand and a flash of green light appears, followed by a fridge. You walk up to the fridge, make your hand into a fist and… 

REFRIDGERATOR PUNCH! 

You immediately realize that this was a bad idea. Your hand hurts, and the fridge has a small dent. At least the frustration is gone. Jade teleports away the fridge. The clothes pile has shrunk a little again. 

**You now have:**

  * **Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes**


  * **Vriska and Feferi's left shoes**
  * **Jane and Aradia's right shoes**
  * **Vriska and Feferi’s socks**
  * **Jane and Aradia’s left socks**
  * **Roxy’s right stocking**
  * **Kanaya’s socks.**
  * **Vriska’s jacket**
  * **Feferi’s tiara**
  * **Aradia’s skirt**



If the game is going to go on like this, it will take a long time, but hey, you’ve got all the time in the world! Besides, you’re having fun, and that should take some time. You’ve probably thought this a thousand times already, but life’s awesome! You’re having a great time with your friends and it feels like everything is good. Don’t ever let it end. 


	9. Hand 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Around here is where I think it starts to get better.

Everybody out of the goddamn way. You’ve got a hand full of cards getting shuffled, a pile full of clothes and a room full of sexy. There’s no way that this can go bad. You’re the dealer again, and you’ve kept all your clothes. Impressive. You grab your cards. 

**4(H) 6(H)**

It’s not TOO bad. Sure, it could be better, but it’s worth going with it anyways. It however won’t be your turn to bet for a little while. Vriska and Feferi will start off with the small blind. They seem to have a quick discussion followed by a round of rock-paper-scissors to determine who’ll be the (un)lucky one to sacrifice an article of clothing. Feferi wins, much to Vriska’s dismay. Vriska turns her back to Feferi and after a few seconds, her bra is off. Her cheeks turn slightly blue with embarrassment. She huddles up in the fetal position to avoid showing off too much of her breasts. 

The turn then comes to Jane and Aradia for the big blind. Thanks to their unfortunate win last hand, they have some clothes in their pile. With just a little effort, they throw in Vriska and Feferi’s shirts. Not too exciting or sexy. The game moves on to Jade and Terezi, who put in Vriska and Feferi’s right shoes. There seems to be a lot of items belonging to Vriska and Feferi this round. Roxy puts in her bra and panties for her team. You’re not really sure if that’s better. 

When it comes to you and Nepeta, you throw Kanaya’s socks on the pile. Finally, it is time for Vriska and Feferi again. Without a word of warning, Vriska yanks off Feferi’s bikini top/bra or whatever the hell that thing she uses to cover up her (rather nice, if you say so yourself) boobs is. You can see that Feferi is very embarrassed, which is completely understandable. It is now your turn to put up the flop. 

**7(H) 5(C) 4(S)**

Holy shit. If you get a three or eight now, you’ll have a straight. Everyone checks. Except for you and Nepeta, of course. If you have a good chance like this, raising might be a good idea. Therefore, you raise Vriska’s jacket and Feferi’s tiara, just to get a few more Vriska + Feferi items into the pile. Fourth card. 

**J (S)**

Not an eight or a three. Still, there’s one more card. You and Nepeta should just hope for the best. 

“Do you think we can win this round?” you whisper into your teammate’s ear. 

“Ac thinks that her and her pawsitively cute furriend can definitely win this round”, she giggles in return. It is kinda cute when she talks about herself in the third person like that. It’s a bit strange that you feel like this for her when you’re dating Kanaya, but it’s just a game, an one-off thing. And speaking of the game, you should probably get back to it. Vriska and Feferi fold. Jane and Aradia don’t. Instead, they throw in their right socks. Hopefully they can’t defeat your eventual straight. Terezi + Jade and Roxy + Kanaya fold as well. Let’s hope you get a good card for your final one… 

**J (D)**

It’s not an eight or three, so no straight for you. However, you have two pairs (Fours and Jacks) now, so with just a little bit of luck, you might win. You show off your cards. 

“Two pairs”, you say. 

Jane places down her team’s cards in front of her. 

**J(C) 5(H)**

The expression that spreads across your and Nepeta’s faces can best be described as “Oh crap.” With this, they get a full house of Jacks and fives. This is confirmed by Aradia, who says “And a full house” as she starts carrying back the clothes to her and Jane. You can feel Nepeta leaning up towards you. 

“Ac was wrong”, she whispers. 

“It’s okay. TT forgives her”, you reply with a smile on your face before you both start giggling. The clothes pile has shrunk a little more. In addition to the clothes you both are wearing, you have this: 

  * **Roxy and Kanaya's left shoes**


  * **Vriska and Feferi's left shoes**
  * **Jane and Aradia's right shoes**
  * **Vriska and Feferi’s socks**
  * **Jane and Aradia’s left socks**
  * **Roxy’s right stocking**
  * **Aradia’s skirt**



Hopefully you will win some more. Or maybe not, actually. Seeing Nepeta without clothes could be worth losing some of your own. The game is still not yet over. You hand the cards over to Vriska for another fun round of strip poker. It is time to see who’ll be out first. It can’t be far away. 


End file.
